From the beginning, I knew that the purpose of my trip to Nepal was exploration. Exploring the ministry, the culture, and the country to determine if the next four years of my life were going to be spent serving there. But I also went with the idea that this was the last step in the process, the confirmation of what I had surmised was a perfect fit. For the first week, I was all in. Loved the people, especially the staff of the ministry I would be working with. Loved the food. Knew that I could grow to love the chaos and dirtiness of the city, and that it could eventually become home.
During our road trip, however, a change took place. Two things happened. First, I was able to get a realisitc picture of the timeline for when teachers will be needed at the school I was hoping to work at, which is not any time in the near future. Second, I realized that my passion is to work with orphans, but that I don’t really know what that looks like. My heart is not necessarily for this particular country or organization, but to serve the fatherless in some capacity.
Well, that changed things pretty quickly. I did not go to Nepal with a backup plan, but I came home knowing that I am not moving there in August. The past two weeks have been spent processing, praying, and adjusting to this monumental shift in the direction I thought my life was headed. The primary emotion I have felt has been exhaustion, mentally and physically. I am not fearful, for my confidence rests in the sovereign God of the universe who knows me and knows what my future holds. I know that my time in Nepal was not in vain, that there was a purpose for my being there.
For now I am pursuing several options for this coming year, all very different, yet all equally exciting. As a planner, slightly on the OCD side of things, this is still relatively new territory for me. It is good though, as through it I am growing in ways I never would have if I was given a road map.