5 Minutes

So true!
So true!

Living in a mobile, fast paced, ever-changing society such as ours has its advantages and its disadvantages. On the plus side, we can now explore more of the world than ever before, we can experience new things, and we have the opportunity to get to know a greater number of people than if we spent our whole lives living in one place. The downside is that once you leave those friends, or they leave you, a rut begins that goes like this:

“Oh, I haven’t talked to [insert name here] in a while! I should call her, but I really don’t have time for a long chat.”

One month later….

“Oh goodness! Now it has been two months since I talked to [insert name here]. I want to catch up with them, but with my crazy schedule I just can’t spare 2 hours.”

Another month goes by, and you finally have a free afternoon. So, you call them, and get their voicemail, of course. Then they call you back, and get your voicemail, and the cycle is perpetuated until you finally connect and spend 3+ hours catching up on the past 6 months or however long it has been since you last spoke. At the end of the call both parties promise to call sooner and agree not to let this happen again, except that it always does.

At least, that is what so often happens in my world. Until recently, when I read a fabulous blog post I can’t find anymore from someone I have never met. She postulated a solution she uses to correct this endless cycle that has helped me tremendously in keeping up with dear friends.

The idea is not revolutionary, but it does take commitment on both sides.

You both agree to talk more often for a shorter amount of time, say 5 minutes.

It is extraordinary how much you can communicate in 5 minutes.

Just share one story from your day, or call to share something funny that happened, or just to say hi and hear their voice. The best part about it is because you have both agreed to the plan, there is no guilt when you call on your way to the grocery store and say “hi, on my way to the store, just wanted to see how your week is going”, and 4 minutes later when you arrive saying “ok, great to chat, just got here! Talk to you again soon”.

I’ve been experimenting with this brilliant idea since I moved back to DC a few months ago, and so far I love it. I have a list on my phone of 8-10 friends who are in it with me, and on my 30-45 minute drive home from work, I go down the list and call them. Or I call them when I see something that reminds me of them, or do something I know would make them laugh. Or I call on my way to the store, or while I am sitting at home. And sometimes they call me!┬áSome days I talk to one friend, other days I talk to 4 voicemails, and still other days I talk to three friends in one drive.┬áSometimes we talk for 3 minutes, and sometimes we talk for an hour and a half.

It’s really quite freeing. We place such high expectations on ourselves when it comes to keeping up with our friends, thinking that it is only a “good” talk if it lasts for hours and you talk about every aspect of your life. But the reality is we rarely have time for those chats, even though our desire to maintain the friendship is genuine. What I have found is that talking more often, no matter how long or short the conversation, strengthens the bond and deepens the friendship in a way that talking for longer periods less often cannot accomplish.

So, I invite you to try it. Share the idea and see if your friends are interested. You never know what might happen!



Thankful Thursday: August 30th

It’s Thursday! I almost missed doing my weekly post for the second week in a row. Almost. Last week I was in Charleston on vacation, enjoying some R&R with no computer. It was a delight. Actually…that’s my first item on the list!

1. Vacation. One week at the beach with the fam, in a beautiful home, and in Charleston, no less. It’s only my favorite city in America. We got to visit the only tea plantation in North America (Charleston Tea Plantation, if you are interested). So fun, and beautiful!!

Charleston Tea Plantation!











2. Huddles Fro-yo. Last night was my Goodbye Indy party, and it was delightful. Not only was the fro-yo just as delicious as always (I got seconds, since it was my last time), getting to see so many dear people one last time made it that much sweeter. So blessed by these friends, and I will miss them!

3. Wedding festivities! Lauren and Jesse are getting married tomorrow, and I am so thankful and excited to get to serve them as their day-of coordinator. Let the fun begin!

Me and lovely Lauren!













4. My parents. In the midst of wedding festivities, the moving chaos has continued, and today was load-the-truck day! My dad used his fabulous packing skills to load the truck better than any professional, and then they cleaned my entire apartment so I could go enjoy Lauren and Jesse’s rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. So thankful for them!

5. My apartment. I went by tonight on my way back to the hotel to say goodbye, and just spent some time thanking the Lord for His gift of that little home. I was remembering the first time I walked in the door in February 2010 it felt like Christmas. I could not believe that I got to live there! And it felt like Christmas every morning I woke up in that apartment. It has been a place of refuge, a haven, a place of community and joy and laughter, my first home-on-my-own, and I loved it. I am going to miss my patio, and the lake, and my neighbor, and my cave bedroom, and my kitchen, and everything else about it.

Thankful Thursday: March 22nd

5 things to be thankful for today…

1. Green everywhere! I love the grass, leaves budding on the trees. All the new life springing (pun very much intended) forth is so happy and bright.

2. Kayla! Love getting to spend Wednesday mornings doing life and studying God’s Word with her.

3. Fresh, clean, delicious water

4. Great weather allowing me to exercise in the great outdoors, including a delightful 2.5 mile hike down at Fort Benjamin Harrison on Saturday.

5. Spontaneous drop-ins from friends for the evening!

Thankful Thursday: February 2nd

Another week come and gone, and today thankful for these….

1. A comfy bed and a good breakfast at the Hampton Inn and Suites in Knoxville, TN on Sunday night to break up the long trek from SC back to Indy.

2. Running into my friend Katie in the middle of Spartanburg, SC at the only Starbucks in town…located in the Barnes and Noble! I was in need of a snack and some coffee, and it was literally the only place for several miles. How neat of the Lord to get me off at that stop and bring me to that shop so we could reconnect! Crazy fun.

3. Time to get things done, like cleaning my apartment and getting an oil change

4. Things being on sale

5. AIA students who love Jesus and live out their faith while playing their sport. It is always a challenge to get myself to a bible study that starts at 9pm, but once I am there, it is always worth it. Love to dig into the Word with them and experience life together.

Road Trip: The End.

Well, my time in the south is coming to a close, and tonight is my last night in Beaufort. Tomorrow morning I will be at CBC Savannah, enjoying all three services and hopefully getting to meet a ton of new people! After that I’m headed to Knoxville and then on back to Indy on Monday. The best part about these days in the south isn’t the great weather or good memories or beautiful places, although those were definitely highlights! No, the best part is the time spent deepening friendships, sharpening one another and catching up on life. The phone suffices when distance comes between friends, but it cannot capture or replace what happens when sitting face to face over a cup of coffee, sharing your heart and life with another person. So grateful for this time, and these faces that make up the fabric of this mosaic that God has given as my life.

The Chocolate Tree....one of my favorite spots in the world! My first grade teacher works here now and sometimes I get to see her. It's not a real visit to Beaufort without a stop at the chocolate tree.













One of my dream homes in Beaufort. It's for sale....











Beaufort Downtown Waterfront - with the bridge open!















Ran into Alex and Irina at Common Ground coffee shop! What a delightful surprise and so great to catch up with them! Love them!!












Beautiful Huspa Plantation












Had the joy and privilege of spending half a day with the lovely Mrs Marlit! Such a delightful friend - I love any time I get to spend with her!













Hanging out downtown this afternoon with Chandra and her new puppy Charlie!