Something is off this year, and I can’t figure out what it is. In the midst of my favorite season of the whole year, I’m just not feeling it.
Maybe it is because the weather is so warm, or because I am not feeling 100%, or because I know several people who have lost loved ones in recent months making this a very hard day/month/season/year for them. My heart hurts for their pain, knowing that they are facing their first Christmas without mom, grandma, grandpa, husband, child, etc, and it is never going to be the same again. Maybe it is because in my busyness I chose not to spend time connecting to the Lord in the advent season. Maybe it is because I am tired. Maybe it is knowing that our next conference starts in three days and I’m not super motivated for it this year. And maybe I’ve just been eating too much and exercising too little, and focusing on the wrong things.
Whatever it is, I know it isn’t where I want my heart to be when I wake up tomorrow.
When I look around I see much reason for celebration and joy. And there is joy, even in the midst of feeling off. Joy in delicious food and new houses and time off with family and friends. Joy in answered prayers, and hope for those still unanswered. Joy in laughter and jokes and love. Joy that my family is reunited and my brother is back with us, joy in remembering that Christ made Himself low and took on human flesh. Joy in knowing that this is a season of celebrating that God did not leave us on our own, but came to us. He is Emmanuel, God with Us. He is here!
O Holy Night, the starts are brightly shining,
It is the night of our dear Savior’s birth
Long lay the world, in sin and error pining
Till He appeared, and the soul felt its worth
A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn’
I love the old Christmas hymns that tell of the wonder of His birth. They serve as a reminder of why we take time off and pause from our busy lives to celebrate this one event that happened so many, many years ago. One baby being born, one who entered in such humility, changed the entire course of history. Salvation has come to a weary world that is still trying so hard to do it on its own. Yet our soul feels its worth through Him and Him alone.
In the midst of this season and not totally feeling it, I am learning that it is ok to be off. To embrace it and trust the Lord to renew my joy moment by moment. So, wherever you are at on the eve of Christmas, I pray you are finding your joy in His presence, and trusting Him even if you aren’t where you want to be.
Merry Christmas dear friends….